I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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