Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
