i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
