no, he came in my armpit
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
