We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize