kristin has been a bad kristin
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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