I will die if light touches me.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
