Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
being pregnant is like rehab
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
