I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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