"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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