like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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