so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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