tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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