my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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