I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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