so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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