I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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