so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I AM VODKA MAN
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
