Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
