i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
