Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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