But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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