she was so not down for the gang bang
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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