They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
