Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
