I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Alive.
So much puke
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
