you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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