It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize