fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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