You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
