Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
oh god the rape fog is back!
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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