Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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