Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I checked into jail on foursquare
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
