My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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