You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
