I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
