So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
