Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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