I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Let's paint friendship bongs
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
