Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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