I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
