you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize