I puked a lego.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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