Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
