She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Randomize
