I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
