Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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