Having a random hookup so left but love u
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
