So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
