Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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