Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
