I'm going to jail i love you
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
