I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
