we have officially lost it.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
