ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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