We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
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