You can't special order awesome
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
In America we eat man semen.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
