I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
