Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
