absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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