How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
