If that was your dad, he is hot
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
