That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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