I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
