mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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