So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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