i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
